“CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF”, “THEY SHOOT HORSES, DON’T THEY?”

Dinner conversation at our house usually starts with the innocuous question, “Anything interesting happen at the clinic?”

Invariably, the answer is ….yes. A dog was attacked by a wild pig. A dog was attacked by a goat. A dog was attacked by a turkey. A dog was attacked by a rooster. A cat swallowed a hatpin. A rat bit a snake. A ferret needed a pacemaker. A coonhound had braces on its teeth. The list of ill-fated animals in unfortunate, but often ridiculous, situations was endless.

“Treated a cat that fell off a car roof today,” Marc mentioned casually one evening.

“I thought cats were pretty agile,” I remarked, “plus a car’s roof is not so high up that a cat would get hurt.”

Between mouthfuls, Marc added, “The car was moving at the time.”

“Didn’t the people see the cat on their roof when they first got in the car?”

“Nope, in fact they probably don’t know the cat was ever on their roof.”

“So who brought the cat into the clinic?” I asked impatiently.

“People in the car behind them at the dump.”

“This happened at the dump?”

“Yup,” Marc finally broke down and gave me the details.
“These people were on their way out of the dump and they noticed the car ahead of them had a cat standing on the roof. They tried to get the driver’s attention but with all the noise and the piles of trash he didn’t see them. Anyway the cat seemed to be doing pretty well until the guy made a sharp turn. That’s when the cat fell off. The people stopped their car and ran over to see how he was. The cat had some pretty bad lacerations so they brought him over to us. Problem is, it’s not their cat.”

“The people whose car the cat was on, do you think it was their cat?”

Marc shook his head. “Not unless they brought it with them from home and it managed to hang on all the way to the dump. But then they would’ve seen it when they got out to dump their trash. More than likely someone else dumped this cat at the dump and the cat thought this car was its ride out of there.”

“Do you think the people who found the cat will adopt it?” I hated hearing about homeless cats.

“They would consider it,” Marc said, “only problem is they’re in the middle of moving and staying with the sister-in-law and she’s not a cat lover. So they can’t just bring the cat in the house. It’s going to have to sleep outside for a while. I gave them a carrier though and put the cat on antibiotics.” And that was the last he heard about that cat.

Sometimes the stories were more than ridiculous, they were unbelievable.

“Wait til you hear this one,” Marc was chuckling as he came through the door and set his briefcase down. “We got a call about a horse being shot,” Marc began, “so I told the caller I’ll send over my associate vet who treats large animals. So Dr. Moser goes to see the guy about the horse and when she comes back I ask her how it’s doing.”

“‘Oh it’ll be okay I think,’ she says.”
‘Who shot the horse?’ I ask her.”

“‘Another horse,’ she says with a straight face.”
“How could that happen?” I asked Marc in amazement.
“Well,” Marc explained, “seems this guy is riding a horse and leading another horse and he rides up to Buffalo Bill’s Liquor. He goes in the store but the clerk sees he’s wearing a gun so she tells the guy, ‘No guns allowed in liquor stores.’ So the guy, who’s probably drunk to begin with, goes outside and hangs the gun on the saddle of one of the horses then goes back inside Buffalo Bill’s to buy his beer. Meanwhile, the other horse starts getting restless and begins jostling and bumping into the horse with the gun. All this moving’ around knocks the gun off the saddle; it falls to the ground, goes off and hits the other horse.”

“Did somebody call the newspaper about this?” I asked. “Or maybe the police?”

Marc looked at me strangely. “Who are they going to interview? Or arrest? The horse?”
“No, but what about the man? For being drunk, or reckless endangerment or something.”
“They tried, but the horse refused to press charges.” Marc told me with a straight face.

Another Great Story by the Doctor's wife!! Thanks Rikki! This really made me laugh!